As they approached their 90s, the couple realized the distance from their five children 10 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren, along with the constant upkeep of a lake property, was becoming more than they could comfortably manage.
“We loved our time on the water, but it was time for a lifestyle that allowed us to focus more on family and less on property maintenance,” Mary Brien, a former educator and school superintendent, said.
Preparing for the shift
The Briens started the downsizing process months before the moving trucks arrived. Since they lived on the water, their first task was inventorying years’ worth of water sports equipment. They sold most of those items. Then they shifted their focus to the house, deciding which items they would no longer have room for or use as their lifestyle changed.
It wasn’t easy, but they found a solution that worked perfectly for them.
“Organizing our possessions for a life in a much smaller home was no small task,” Mary Brien said of moving from more than two acres of land to a two-bedroom apartment at Newcastle (the Briens are on a waitlist for a three-bedroom unit). “We surveyed everything that might be of interest to our family — our children, grandchildren and others.”
The family “auction”
The Briens hosted their final lake home family reunion, which gave everyone a chance to walk around the property and point out things they’d want when Mary and Jerry moved. A few months after that, they created an online “auction.”
It was an “auction” in name only because nothing was for sale, but everything was up for grabs.
“We took pictures of each item, wrote descriptions and posted them on an online family auction page. Family members could view the items and if they were interested, request the item.”
Mary said that everyone seemed to enjoy the “auction,” and they were able to find homes for most everything. They donated what was left to charity, including St. Vincent de Paul and Habitat for Humanity ReStore.
“When you have a lot of space, you tend to collect a lot of things,” Jerry Brien, a former business executive, said. “The way we distributed everything made it easier for our family because they have what they need in a couple of ways. It wasn’t only in tangible items, but now that we’re at Newcastle, they know we’ll be taken care of – that there are people around if we ever need help.”
Moving to Newcastle was a family transition for the Briens, made easier by starting to plan early.
“Downsizing is a major adjustment. We were leaving behind a community where we had worked and built relationships for more than 50 years, but it has been successful because we are getting exactly what we need at this time in our lives,”
Mary said. “By using the family auction to simplify our transition, we were able to move into Newcastle Place with lighter hearts and a focus on the future.”
Mary and Jerry Brien’s tips for downsizin
- Start planning early. Don’t wait for a deadline to sell your house or be forced to leave because of health and other mobility issues.
- Be realistic about where you’re going. Don’t try to replicate what you had when you know you’ll have much less space.
- Know the value of things you own. What you see as priceless, others might consider useless.
- Try to avoid selling in the middle of winter (like the Briens did) if you live in a northern area of the country.
Tips for staying positive as you downsize
- Take time with your treasures. As you declutter, allow enough time to thoughtfully go through your belongings and enjoy the memories associated with these items.
- Do a trial run. Knowing where the amenities and common areas at your new community are will help you acclimate faster.
- Focus on what you’re gaining, not losing. Change is always hard, and there will be tough days. Try to think about how your life will improve with these changes. Think of all the extra time you’ll have to enjoy your days and family instead of cleaning, working or trying to find things.
- Enlist help. Even if you hire a professional moving manager, there’s a lot of detail in downsizing. You might need help with tasks like reviewing contracts, negotiating rates or site visits. Even processing your belongings with friends and family can bring a lot of laughter and new memories.
- Make plans to see people. Set some concrete dates to meet or chat with friends. Familiar faces and staying busy can help speed the acclimation process.
- Join classes and clubs ahead of time. Being part of a group of like-minded people helps stave off loneliness and anxiety. If you signed a contract, enroll in activities you can look forward to.
- Treat yourself. Take the opportunity to gift yourself something you’ve always wanted. Set the tone by making any new space feel special and uniquely yours.
- Change is hard! If you start early, get organized, and involve friends and family, downsizing can be liberating. Ultimately, it’s about clearing space to focus on the people and activities that make you happiest.
As you consider the next chapter of life, remember you don’t have to navigate downsizing alone. The team at Newcastle Place is here to answer your questions, offer guidance and help make the transition as smooth and meaningful as possible. Call us at 262-387-8835 to learn more about how Newcastle Place can support you and your family every step of the way.
